January 2011
“Hope is like a bird that senses the dawn and carefully starts to sing while it...”
– Anonymous
“You’re the strangest person I ever met, she said, and I said you too, and we...”
– Brian Andreas
“I don’t think a lot of people choose to live at all. They just don’t...”
– Anonymous
I would love to be able to play this someday.
1 tag
My secret is that I look at food porn.
I will stare hungrily at my computer screen and salivate over glistening images portraying all the things I’ve forbidden myself to eat.
Peanut butter Oreos. Fajitas oozing with cheese. Chocolate cake. Heck, chocolate anything.
My relationship with food is completely screwed. Is thin worth it?
“Sometimes I really loathe people.”
2 tags
I hate the way my
thighs seem to expand when I
sit down. If I could
measure them, they would be the
state of Texas, the
surface of the Moon.
I hate the way my
femur pushes down on the
fat and muscle and skin and
spreads it out into
something repulsive and
out of whack.
I hate the way my
mind conjures rolls of
fat, layers upon layers of
slimy white lipids that
make their home in the
pockets of my...
“You never come back, not all the way. Always, there is an odd distance between...”
– Marya Hornbacher (Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia)
Listen
1 tag
There is a set of rules that I am to follow no matter how ridiculous they are, because ED says I have to.
1. If I am the thinnest person at the table, then I may allow myself a treat. Otherwise I must discipline myself and eat only fruit and vegetables.
2. I must never eat anything without knowing what is in it. That muffin my co-worker brought me? It doesn’t have a nutrition label,...
Listen
“Perfection hounds us remorselessly.”
– Thomas Howard
1 tag
It was a typical summer night in Chicago, the kind that came alive and made you feel as though the day were just beginning instead of drawing to a close. O’Hare airport was a living, breathing organism, waxing and waning as hosts of travelers came and went. From where I sat inside the iron belly of the docked airplane, I could make out a belt of twinkling lights along the horizon. My city. My...
1 tag
Caffeine substitute
“Embrace the uncomfortable. Drink wind, breathe water. Close your eyes and...”
1 tag
1 tag
Sleep. Eat. Study. Sleep. Movie. Facebook. Sleep. Eat.
These are the things I do during the weekend.
I will pick up my camera, but when my eye hits the viewfinder all I see is the gray of the mundane.
My pen will poise itself over the paper, but the words never find their way out of my cranium.
There is something about weekends that makes my inner muse die inside.
On the other hand, there is...
